Sean and Marcia Dunbar (center) have two children — Katlyn (left) and Lance (right). The Dunbars will celebrate their 21st anniversary this month. On their wedding night, they had drinks with their best man, all still in their wedding finery. Jackson T. Stephens was there and he paid for their drinks. “We didn’t get the financial blessing that I had hoped from that,” Sean says, jokingly. (Special to the Democrat-Gazette)Marcia Sanders bristled at Sean Dunbar’s pickup lines. By evening’s end, his chivalrous behavior softened her heart.
Sean found himself next to Marcia at a Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown show at Juanita’s in Little Rock in 1997.
He liked Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown but was really there to provide emotional support for a friend who had just gone through a breakup. Similarly, Marcia had promised to be a designated driver for a friend celebrating her recent graduation.
As blues music swirled, Sean tried to get Marcia to focus on him.
“He said, ‘What’s your favorite number, color and animal?’ I just said, ‘What?’ and he said, ‘Oh, you know, I’m just getting the basics out of the way.’ And I was like, ‘You think that’s how that works? Is that how you do things?'”
Truth be told, her gaze was on another guy, and she told Sean as much.
“I said, ‘I’m trying to get this guy’s attention.’ And he goes, ‘Do you want me to go talk to him?'” she says. “I just found Sean completely annoying.”
Sean got the hint and went back to enjoying the concert.
As he and his friend left Juanita’s that night, though, he spotted Marcia in the parking lot alone, waiting for her friend to finish a conversation inside.
“Even 20 years ago, that wasn’t the best place to hang out,” he says. “I talked my buddy into stopping and was like, ‘Hey, let’s just hang out.’ Of course, Marcia was like, ‘I don’t need a dad.'”
Before driving away, Sean asked for Marcia’s phone number.
“I told him I didn’t just go around giving people at clubs my number. I said, ‘That’s not me,'” she says, although she knew he saw her give the guy she had been watching inside her number.
Undaunted, he offered to give her his number instead, to which she responded, “What? I don’t call guys.”
Sean told her that was fine, they just would never talk again.
They had talked long enough to know both liked Cajun food and were fans of Harry Connick Jr. and she was touched by the fact that he refused to leave her there alone.
“He was so sweet. He didn’t want me to be out there by myself, even though I was adamant that I could handle myself,” Marcia says. “I gave him my number.”
Sean waited six days to call.
“He had watched the movie ‘Swingers,'” she explains. “There was a code.”
They ate at Loca Luna and Marcia learned more about how he thought and that he had been the caregiver for his mother, who had passed away months earlier.
“It was just kind of insight into his heart and where he was and I just knew,” she says. “I knew he was special, even then.”
Marcia had a 3-year-old son, Lance, and she told Sean about him the first time he asked her out, informing him she would have to get a babysitter. She was protective of her son, and of her heart, and had determined it to be better to get that information out at the first opportunity.
“I’m sure I sounded abrasive,” she says.
Sean, though, suggested they take her son with them on their date.
They didn’t, of course. It was a couple of months later that she allowed Sean to meet him. Sean arrived at her apartment that day with his arms full of gladiolas, her favorite flower.
“He walked in and looked at Lance, and he said, ‘Hey, big guy.’ And Lance said, ‘Hey, big guy. Sit down and color,'” Marcia says.
In October 1998, Sean and Marcia camped and went to the King Biscuit Blues Festival in Helena. Sean intended to swing over to Memphis and propose to Marcia in the spot where he had first told her he loved her, during Memphis in May, not long after they met, but MTV was in that area setting up a game.
“We walked forever through all the backroads of Memphis, and Marcia was so chipper and I was so frustrated,” he says. He was looking for an appropriate backdrop for popping the question.
Marcia waited on a grassy knoll while Sean went in search of a bathroom. While he was gone, a homeless man praised their decision to spread a blanket and pull picnic food from their backpacks.
They gave the man a plate of food, and after Sean proposed, Marcia ran over to tell him the happy news.
“He was very excited for us,” she says.
Sean and Marcia were married on July 31, 1999, in the F.O. Rogers House in Little Rock.
Sean adopted Lance, who now lives in Portland, Ore., after he and Marcia married. They also have a daughter, Katlyn, of Little Rock.
Sean is the director of children’s ministry at St. James United Methodist Church and is a boys’ soccer coach with Arkansas Rising. And Marcia is volunteer coordinator at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences.
Temporary annoyances are part of any marriage. Marcia is glad to have worked past her initial irritation with Sean to find that out.
“I love him to pieces,” she says.
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Marcia Sanders and Sean Dunbar were married on July 31, 1999. They met at a Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown show at Juanita’s, and at first Marcia wanted nothing to do with Sean. “To be honest, I found him to be really annoying,” she says. (Special to the Democrat-Gazette)
The first time I saw my future spouse:
He says: “She was absolutely beautiful, but she was very proper, the way she held her drink, the way she was standing and trying to get this boy’s attention without actually talking with this boy, everything.”
She says: “If I’m honest, I thought he was annoying.”
On our wedding day:
He says: “It was super hot.”
She says: “I felt so warm inside — and it wasn’t just because it was so hot outside. We had so many friends and family come out. Everyone had fun and celebrated together.”
My advice for a long happy marriage:
He says: “My proper answer would be open and honest communication, but really I’ve learned just to do what she wants the first time.”
She says: “Be open and honest, even when it’s hard.”